May 13, 2022

How many do you have left?


hile I try to stay away from absolute statements, I lean into the idea that relationships are what matter in life.

On the back of a visit to see my parents and then to see my grandmother, I was reminded of a piece of wisdom shared with me. When we think about those most important to us, it’s not how many years are left in the relationship. It’s about how many visits.

If your parents have ten years left on this blue ball and see them once a year, you have ten visits. That assumes you have the ‘years left’ number right. Once you put it in that light, it changes how you think about how much time you have left. It’s not about years; it’s about visits.

How many visits do you have with the humans that matter most to you?

How many good nights with your person? 

How many summers with your kids? 

How many sunsets?

How many _____.

What are you doing about it? 

Thoughts from others

It is by consciously confronting the certainty of death, and what follows from the certainty of death, that we finally become truly present for our lives. -Oliver Burkeman

Memento Mori ('remember you must die')

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